Archive for March, 2010
my fiance and i live in seperate boroughs about 35 minutes away. He works 2 jobs (both are an hour & 15 mins away from me). He leaves his house in the morning and works til 9:30pm. After work he goes to the gym across from his job (because he is trying to get in shape for the wedding) By the time he gets out its 11 something, by the time he would come see me, it would be past midnight, and hes tired and wants to go to sleep to get up for work in the morning. This is 3 days out of the week. The other 4 days.. he works his 2nd job in addition to the 1st. So when he gets out at 9:30pm instead of the gym, he goes to his other job where he works till 4am.. Goes home. sleeps and wakes up to go to job #1 again.. If he gets a day (from 1 job) we spend most our time handling wedding meetings, contract signings and finance and other necesary things, then end up arguing over something little, then it ruins the mood for the day..now were both in a bad mood, he’s off to work and the process starts again.
It doesnt help that i am not used to this, we used to see eachother everyday before he started this 2nd job less than a year ago. We’ve talked about this soo many times, he knows how i feel, he’ll make an effort for a week and it goes back to being the same way. From today I havent seen him in a week! (Sometimes it may be more) This is ridiculous for me. He misses meetings, church, family get togethers; parties, everything. I get tired of always being the one going everywhere with out him in where he should be. He does nothing but work. and he cant even talk at work. He keeps telling me that he’s working for us, and he needs to be able to pay for the wedding (ignoring the fact my parents are paying for half) and other things. But It is not necesary we are not in defecit, nor do i feel it is worth our relationship. (which aside from this issue is great). I have been putting up with this for long enough, i dont think i have any more patience in me, and we can not seem to come to an understanding. I am really being pulled away from him the more we are apart, what is the point of working to pay for a wedding when there ends up being NO wedding because the person you were marrying was tired of having an absentee partner. Ive been neglected in the past and ended up finding comfort and attention from someone else, and he knows this. But i do not want this to happen with him
I’ve talked to people and ive tried thinking positively and i cant help feeling out of options, and a part of me just wants to walk away and let him drown in his work and gym..
[PS] I only work 3 days a week, he does not want me to get a 2nd job because i wont have time to handle the things that i handle for the both of us. Ive also left a second job i had because it made him unhappy. He even offered if leaving his 2nd job would make me happy then he’ll do it. But then took it back, and said he needed it. Im so fed up and actually quite hurt. (maybe im just sensitive, idk). advice?
It’s really hard right now but it sounds like your man is working hard and trying to be responsible. Be patient. You’ll be together soon.
just curious
if its not your first, how old were you then?
how long had you been with your partner and were you married?
me: im 22, been with my partner 8years and getting my body in shape for the wedding and then for TTC #1 
baby dust
I am 24 (almost 25) and have been with my husband since I was 19, but we just got married last summer.
We haven’t started trying to conceive but will in the next year or so, so I will probably be 25, maybe 26!
I think it’s great that youre thinking ahead and preparing! Congrats on the upcoming wedding and best of luck with TTC 
Hello, I am hosting the wedding along with my parents, as the groom and his family haven’t offered to contribute (no problem). But the groom’s mom is suddenly bent out of shape about the wedding, complaining to my fiance that "all the planning has gone forward without her," and that she doesn’t understand why I want such a small wedding. Well the only thing that has been done so far is I’ve made a list of about 10 venues I’d like to see, that are within our budget, and I’ve looked casually at dresses with my mom. Also, I have said already I’d like a small wedding. I guess his mom wants to have a lot of say in the venue. Does one allow the groom’s mom to do that, if she isn’t contributing? Also, the small wedding is something I want to do because I’ve always envisioned a small wedding, and it also helps us stay in a reasonable budget. What can I say to the fact she wants it to be bigger? Her suggested guest list is large and would be pretty expensive.
My fiance doesn’t really know what to do or say; he wants everyone to be happy but he says he doesn’t know much about weddings. I told him that I’d prefer to look at venues with my parents first and then once we’ve narrowed it down we can discuss it with her, but that I really wanted a small wedding and that was important to me. He told her this and she just got upset. If she would contribute a bit to the wedding I’d be more anxious to involve her, but I am starting to feel like she thinks it’s okay for her to ask my family to throw a party and then tell exactly how to throw it!
Plus, she told my fiance she was mad that my mom and I looked at dresses because we should invite her. We were just looking casually, one Saturday when we got up, so I didn’t mean to exclude anyone. It just wasn’t a big, planned dress-shopping trip. Do I have to tell her every time I look at dresses?
I guess she assumes that naturally my family will pay for the whole thing but that she can still be involved as she wants. I am glad to invovle her in things such as picking colors, where it doesn’t add onto the cost, but it is a bit problematic when she wants to chime in regarding the venue or the size of the wedding, which can affect cost.
In case it’s relevant, my family is sort of the average suburban family and we are used to more reasonable, simple weddings, whereas my fiance’s mom is kind of what you’d call a society lady. When she talks about weddings, it’s always very very fancy ones. That’s not what my parents and I can offer though. But what can I do when telling her this just makes her upset? I am in the wrong??
OMG! im soo sorry for the trouble you are with for having a selfish mother-in-law!
bt this is YOUR WEDDING & you’re fiances not his parents
especially if you’re family is the one paying for it!!
have the wedding of YOUR dreams!
& talk to your fiance telling him that your parents have a budget and his mother is being unreasonable for thinking money grows on trees in your parent’s backyard!
& the wedding dress is something i would go shopping with my mother not my mother-in-law personally!!
i get along great with my soon to be mother-in-law but i always pictured as a mother & daughter kind of thing!
& if your mother-in-law wants to have a say then make her contribute to the wedding
don’t stress yourself & just have it your way!
good luch & congrats
Getting in shape for my wedding in two months.
I hear you about the wedding part!
Mine is in less than 4 months and I’ve been at the gym 4-5 days a week doing cardio and lots of it also strength training. A DVD that I LOVE is Tae Bo. I have the whole Boot Camp collection with the Billy Bands and I can tell you from experience it works. I love it and wouldn’t recommend any other DVD. It’s really great and you will feel and see a difference within a week, of course you also have to eat a healthy diet. That goes with any exercise you do. Also drink lots of water, not soda/juices. Best of luck, and congratulations on getting hitched!
i am looking to get back in shape before my wedding this coming november. My weight fluctuates like crazy with little change in my diet or exercize. i had a baby (was a 10 before, gained about 35 lbs) with no effort or exercise or change in diet, i dropped down to about 125 lbs (i am only 5′3) and a size 6. Now, 2 years later, I am back up to my pre baby weight of about 165 lbs, and a size 10/12. I would like to get back to a 6/8 and lose about 40 lbs over the next 8 months. I purchased jillians michaels 30 day shred, and used it tonight. although it was only 2o minutes it was an awesome work out, and i feel great, but tired. Just wondering if anyone has had any success with this particular workout or if anyone has any tips or advice. thanks!
Jillians 30 day shred is awesome! You can tell how good it is, just knowing how you feel afterwards.
I would keep that up, but you are going to need to do other things. Cardio: running, elliptical, swimming, etc.
Work out 5 days a week. I’d advise in doing Jillian every other day and harder cardio on the days you aren’t using her workout.
Losing weight is all about calories in, calories out. A great website to help you out is: www.calorie-count.com
It can be tedious logging in everything you eat, from that little tablespoon to mayo, but it works. You can see how many calories you have left over for the day and you know then if you can spare some or if you have to stop. It’s a big eye opener.
There is a place in Huntsville, Tx park called the Raven Lodge. It is beautiful outside and in. The only problem is I would like to have my wedding outside near the water and the reception inside. The Lodge is too small and awkward shaped to have the wedding inside, so if it starts raining, we will be forced to move it inside and be extremely cramped.
My friend had her wedding there and it was beautiful, the only draw back is she had it in July, which was extremely hot and we were all glad to get inside. The older people were literally about to drop from the heat.
I’m trying to figure out what would be the best time of the year to have the wedding outside with a somewhat good compromise of cool weather and low expectancy of rainfall.
I’ve tried to think about accommodating the outside in case of rain, but there are trees outside in the area, so having tents would probably not work.
Can anybody help me?
http://www.texasoutside.com/weddingMain.html
Yeah, I live in TX and sometimes outdoor weddings are miserable. Windy, rainy, hot, bugs! May would be a pretty good bet for daytime, or you could do June if it was after dark and less thought, but you would HAVE to have a backup plan. I would ask the Raven Lodge folks what they think is best, because they would be the experts on it. Maybe there is an area where a tent would work, or you could pass out umbrellas and do a covered ceremony area.
Have you had any success with it? I need to get in shape for my wedding, and it seems like a fun way!
I did tae bo every night for eight months and lost ninety pounds before my wedding. I also tried to stick to a lower calorie diet. I managed to stay around 1300 cals a day. You can eat a lot if you eat the right stuff. I would have a lot of little 100 calorie snacks through out the day for energy and to keep me fuller. One month I did the special K diet for two weeks to change it up a bit. I also added in walking for 20 minutes a day. I had a blast walking when I got an ipod and downloaded all my wedding music I was planning to have at the wedding on it. It motivated me more when I was walking and listening to the wedding music. I would picture myself walking down the aisle SKINNY, I was 232 lbs when I got engaged and when I walked down the aisle I was 142 lbs. Well good luck and if you visit calorieking.com it tells you how many calories are in certain foods and its free. It also tells you how many calories you will burn doing tae bo. Good luck and congrats!
I’m getting in to shape for my sons wedding & are doing ok. But I fell my upper arms are a bit wobbly. I’m not too big, 14 but soon 12 ( I hope).
My dress will expose my arms, so more then swimming & lifting my baked bean cans.Any ideas?
Push ups with your hands turn in, or take a dumb bell and put your arm straight down and stiffly move the dumbbell back and forth.
I am 5′0 and weigh 126 lbs.
curvy figure (smaller on top and larger on midsection)
I want to really get in shape for my wedding which is in may next year and don’t have money for a gym.
I don’t have a job now so I’m not too active but eat healthly and still gain weight mostly on the stomach and arms.
What can I do asap to start losing weight and toning up until I start working again?
Are there meals or foods I should avoid?
Thanks!
hey,
Well firstly you have got motivation, your wedding, this is the best thing you can have to lose weight. Just eat regularly and exercise more is the best advice anyone can give you, eat healthy but allow yourself a treat every week, portion size is also key, less food less calories. Running, walking is good…the best thing and is great because your a girl is dancing, burns loads of calories and is fun, just bust a groove to your favorite song.
Best of Luck, hope you have a nice wedding:)
ooo p.s., since you’ve got till next year, don’t hit this diet thing hard, therefore you will be more likely to stick to it:)
I have been trying to loose weight. I lift weights a couple days a week and try to watch what I eat. But I’m a single mom working and going to school, so I don’t have a lot of free time. I need quick and easy ways to loose weight. My good friend is getting married this fall and I want to get in shape for the wedding. My goal is 160 or less by November. If anyone has any tips please tell me. Thanks to anyone who posts!
Listen I have had two kids and both girls with horrible hormonal pregnancies. I couldn’t lose any weight with my first but was sooo determined with the second and I now weigh less than what I did when I feel pregnant with the second. If you have any questions, please feel free to email me happy to help in any way am now studying personal training.
If you want to do this it is for life so you need to totally change your way of eating and exercising. This is not a diet rather than a healthy eating plan for life. So no more talking diet cause it means time limit.
Here are the golden rules:
Initially cut down to 1200 calories.
Exercise 6 times per week for 1 hours a day. Do three weight sessions and three cardio sessions. No gym involved.
Don’t eat carbs after 4pm, never eat carbs within 2 hours of exercise or within 1 hour of exercise.
Drink 3 litres of water per day. You can have a green tea at the end of the day.
Limit your fruit in take to 2 pieces per day.
Never eat dinner after 6pm.
Adopt of low GI eating plan this is sustainable for life!
Make low fat dairy choices
Follow this menu plan as a suggestion:
Breakfast 7am – 1 cup hot water w lemon
20 minutes later have a bowel of oats w water (no honey) OR
fruit salad w low GI soy yogurt
Snack 10am – pear or apple (both low GI)
Lunch 12.30pm – muligrain sandwich w 50g tuna & salad (no butter)
Snack 3pm – low GI yogurt OR skim berry smoothie (no honey or banana) plenty of ice, 1/2 cup skim milk & 1/4 cup yogurt
Dinner 5.30pm – 120g grilled lean meat/fish/prawns/tofu patties (not fried) w spinach salad & mixed vegies (no whites, carbs) OR 3 egg white/soy omlette with ham, cheese and tomato
Snack – 1 scoop of low cal low fat ice cream (if hungry)
Exercise is must be intense. Refer to www.bodybuilding.com for your weights routine. Never do weights two consecutive days have a cardio day in between.
Cardio needs to include running, go hard up stair wells and cycling. You get the most benefits from exercise when your body is totally fatigued and this is when you see changes.
To maintain you can increase calories to 1500 and reduce exercise sessions to 3-4 times per week. If weight creeps up again due to holiday period etc.. go back to 1200 cal and 6 sessions again.
Good luck it worked for me it can work for anyone.